Save me
by KatheMS
Summary: I need to save myself. Will you come with me?


Save me

 **Author's note:** I know, this probably is too out of character for Mulder and Scully, but it's just an idea I had to put out there.

The song at the beginning is _Save myself_ from Ed Sheeran. I don't know why those specifics verses made me think of this idea, but anyway… I hope you'll like it.

 **For this story, let's pretend that nothing else happened after Closure, in season 7, ok? Thank you.**

And remember, I'm from Colombia, so English is not my first language. Please forgive my many grammar and spelling mistakes.

… _So before I save someone else_

 _I've got to save myself_

 _Life can get you down so I just numb the way it feels_

 _I drown it with a drink and out-of-date prescription pills_

 _And all the ones that love me they just left me on the shelf_

 _No farewell_

 _So before I save someone else, I've got to save myself_

 _And before I blame someone else, I've got to save myself_

 _And before I love someone else, I've got to love myself_

"Scully?... What are you still doing here? I didn't see you again, I thought you went home to change your clothes", he said.

"This isn't my clothes…", she said.

"I know. More reason to change them, right?", she was acting weird, he thought.

He stood in front of her in that pier and from what the darkness of the place allowed him to see, her eyes seemed to be on him but, actually, they croosed right through him to nothing… or maybe to the wide sea in front of them.

"I don't think the locals would mind to find out there's another hooker in town", she paused, her eyes glued to the sea. "What do you think?", she asked.

"Mmmm, I'm not sure there are that many prostitutes here in Annapolis, Scully. And you aren't one", he said with confidence.

One that he lost when she looked up and he took a glimpse of her face. Something had happened to her.

"Are you sure of that Mulder?", she said.

Her eyes weren't on the sea anymore. She looked directly at him and he couldn't hide the horror in his face.

Her right eye had a bruise, her red lipstick was all over her face, her mascara was the evidence of the tears she probably let out before he got to her. Her dress… was torn above her right tigh. She was trying to cover it.

It was in that moment when Mulder realized she must have been freezing. She didn't have a jacket or a coat on. Immediately he took his, put it on her and knelt in front of her.

"What the hell, Scully? What happened? Where were you?", he asked.

"You know where I was… You guys found the girl, didn't you?", she said.

"Yes. We found her in an alley, she was running, she had managed to escape from the bar", he said, trying to look at her face again, but she had looked away, covering her shame from him.

"And where did you find the suspect?", she asked and looked at him again.

Another tear went down her face, apparently without her permission because she wiped it away as fast as she could.

Mulder was faster, though. He could grabbed her hand and helped her wipe the tears delicately. He was afraid of what he was about to find out.

"The other agents said they found him in his office… on the couch, sleeping, as if nothing had happened…". He remembered something else. "… He was just laying there, with his…"

"With his penis just laying aroud out there too, right?...", she said, holding back the tears. "…He used it in me, you know? In me, on me, however you wanna say it… I had to let him do it. I had to let him do whatever he wanted, exactly how a hooker would have done it… It was my cover, right? I am the only women in the team, and that poor girl was about to be forced to do it, so… It was the only thing I could think of doing, and I did it. I let him…", she started to confess.

"Scully…", he tried to interrupted her.

"… I had to do some things from my initiative to sustain my cover, and to allow the girl to escape from the bar as soon as I led him to his office. I closed the door and I knew in that moment that my life would change… The FBI agent in me knew that and accepted it, but _I_ couldn't, I still don't… But anyway I did it, I let him did things I don't even think you've seen in those movies that aren't yours…",

"Scully, please…", he tried to interrupted her again.

"… But he found my gun in my purse after he was done… That's when this happened…", she said putting a hand on her black eye. "He immediately assumed I was a cop, and he tried to… I guess it's better to fuck a police than plain hooker, right? More exhilarating, maybe… Anyway, he wanted to be in my mouth again, but… no… I couldn't, once was enough… I assumed the girl was already save with you and the other agents, so I had to drop my whore act and I found the way to leave him unconscious, like he was found. He wasn't asleep, like they told you. I found the way to fight back and get out of there", she took a deep breath. "But the girl is alright, isn't she?", she looked at him again, pleading for a positive answer that would make her feel that the hell she just went through was worth it.

"Yes, sweetie, the girl is alright".

 _Sweetie?_

"I don't want your pity, Mulder", she looked away.

"You're not getting that from me, Scully, believe me. But you just told me you were rape, and forgive me, but I can't hide my concern…"

"Yeah, but I'm not you're _sweetie_ ", she cut him off.

"Ok, that's fair. You need to go to the hospital, Scully. Now", he tried to get her up from the bench. She didn't.

"The evidence in me won't go anywhere, Mulder, don't worry, and neither will my pain. I just need to stay here a little while longer. I don't want the other agents to see me like this", she said looking down to herself. "Will you stay with me?".

A pair of blue pleading eyes were looking at him, and he just nodded. But it took all of his will power to stay sitted. He wanted to find the bastard that not only had kidnaped 5 girls, sold 4 of them to ISIS collaborators (they were yet to be found), but also had raped his partner, his precious Scully. What would this do to her? He could only assume, but he knew for sure what would happen to Zayet Eljal.

"You know…", she said after a while. "…Sometimes, when I think about having a normal life, I think about coming back to this place and spend the rest of my days here. That dream is ruined now, I guess… Have you think of a place where you would want to have a _normal_ life, Mulder? … I'm sure is some place in Massachusetts, right? Nantucket, maybe?".

She smiled to herself, she knew that wouldn't be the place. With him, there wouldn't be a _normal_ place, actually. He wasn't cut out to have a normal life.

"We have to save ourselves, you know? We're always saving someone else, being the heroes… We have to have a place where we can go and save ourselves, I need that", she said.

He tried to touch her hand and she yanked it away.

"You don't wanna touch this, Mulder", she said, her eyes on the ground, shame all over her face.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Scully, you don't have to be embarrassed of anything. Please, look at me", he begged, she indulged him. "I want to have my normal life wherever your having yours, if you'll let me".

 _I need you to save me_ , he wanted to say, but he knew it was too much to put on her in that moment.

"Mulder, this…", she needed to say something else.

"Please Dana, I just want you to let me take you to the hospital. All the others have left already. Please, let me take you there", he interrupted her.

He stood up from the bench and let out a hand to her. She grabbed it and with a wince of pain started to walk to his car.

 _This is it for me. I'm leaving the FBI, I need to save myself. Will you come with me?_

That is what she wanted to say earlier. She knew it was too much to ask of him, but she had to say it, she needed to know his answer now.

"Mulder…", she said, after they left from the pier near the bar where fatality had met her.

"Yes?", he turned to look at her from the driver's seat of his car. They were now on their way to the hospital.

"I don't know if you will agree with me on this or not, but I think this is it for me. And, honestly, I don't think I'm being a coward for wanting to get out of this now…".

He took his eyes from the road again, intrigued by her words.

"What are you saying?", he asked.

"After what happened tonight… I think, I'm almost sure I want out. I know a lot worst has happened to me before, way worst, but I think I've had enough. I'm leaving the FBI, I need to save myself".

She looked at him. It was obvious to him that she was holding back tears.

"Will you come with me? Do you wanna be normal with me?", she asked.

She shook her head and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry. It's a lot to ask, I know… You don't have to answer now, you don't have to answer at all", she said in a lower voice.

She knew his silence wasn't a _no_ , it was just confusion, so she would give him time to ponder her request.

Neither one of them spoke again until they arrived to the hospital and Scully prepared herself for it. She had survived an abduction, cancer, not being able to conceive, losing a daughter, kidnapping, attempted murder, and some other horrifics "events" that had marked her life. And she would survived this, this raping wouldn't end her, but she didn't want to come back to the source of all her tragedies. She was determined to leave the FBI, she just wanted to know if she would be leaving alone.

Her mind drifted aways while Mulder led her into the hospital, and while he explained to the staff on call what had happened to his fellow FBI agent. When she returned to earth, she was on a gurney, about to be taken to do some tests on her. Her partner was there by her side.

"Sir, you need to leave so we can start with her", a nurse said.

"Yes, I'll be right out", he answered.

But before he left the room, he approached to her, kissed her forehead and said:

"You're gonna be fine, Scully. You're brave and you can overcome anything".

She smiled at him, thanking him for his kind words.

"I coulnd't save you from the hell you went through tonight, but I'll go wherever you wanna have that normal life. You deserve it…"

"We both do", she said, took his hand in hers and gave him a wide smile.

"I know. We do. It has been enough for the both of us… I love you", he dared to say and both of theirs hearts were about to explode.

"I love you too", she said.

"I'll be right outside waiting for you", he kissed her forehead again and walked away.

"Nantucket?", she asked from the gurney.

He turned around and smile at her.

"Nantucket".

… _I'll be taking my time, spending my life_

 _Falling deeper in love with you…_

THE END

Comments? Thoughts? Threats? They're all very much appreciated.

The song and the end of the fic is _How would you feel_ , also by Ed Sheeran. I just love him, sorry, I can't help it.


End file.
